mannerisms at the table

 “Everything is whitewashed with irony, tact, and the French perennial gêne, which is the chilling sense of awkwardness and unease we all feel when we’re tempted to cross a line but are held back. Youth shakes off gêne, doesn’t accept it; grown-ups savor it, like an impromptu blush, the undertow of desire, the conscience of sex, a concession to society." -- André Aciman, Homo Irrealis: Essays.

How do I describe college? I want to capture it all. I’m hungry, I’m starved and I’ve forgotten about food altogether. You know when you’re sitting at the dinner table with a friend, and all they want to do is speak and have a conversation with you, but you’re just looking at the menu, the annoyed server, and thinking about your food? Yeah, but this time I’m the friend, and I’ve forgotten that we’ve come here to eat.